Normally I would not comment on something like this, because obviously there’s a lot of stuff swirling in my congregation on at any given day and I’ve got other things to do, but We’re not going to solve our problems if we get distracted by sideshows and carnival barkers. We do not have time for this kind of silliness. We’ve got better stuff to do.
Therefore, I am releasing the long form of my ordination certificate, effective immediately. I hope this allows us to move on to the important business at hand. As this certificate speaks for itself, I will not be taking any questions at this time.